i just wanna soil my oats bro
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Drunk is not a location!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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