You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
