Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
