No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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