She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
May the power of my ass compel you!!
this is an emotional support booty call
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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