She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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