i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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