New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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