True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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