Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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