We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
