I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The air was thick with penises
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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