I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
