Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
