Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
