let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
two words...techno handjob
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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