i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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