hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
