he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Operation Purity has been aborted
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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