remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
