In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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