I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
