Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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