I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
