you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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