Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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