After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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