Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
its not stalking. its research.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
