We won't sleep together?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
