just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
