But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
