Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
