please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
