So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
