So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
