I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
