hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
