Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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