SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Damn victory sex feels great
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
