Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
