STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
