I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
