The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
