Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
