Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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