It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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