its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
