Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
