Whoa Z and x make the same sound
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
time to smoke my breakfast
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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