i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
