Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
